Being used by someone you care about is one of the worst feelings. When you’re in a relationship, you expect there to be mutual care, respect and an equal give-and-take between partners. However, some people are just takers who will use you for their own benefit without any regard for your feelings or needs. If you suspect the woman you’re seeing is just using you, here are some major red flags to watch out for:
1. It’s Always About Her
One of the clearest signs she’s just using you is if the relationship is completely one-sided. She expects you to drop everything to cater to her needs and wants, but she never returns the favor. The conversations are always about her job, her friends, her problems – she doesn’t take any interest in your life. A user will soak up all your energy and attention like a sponge without ever giving anything back.
2. She Doesn’t Make an Effort
When someone is using you, they put in very little effort to make you happy or make the relationship work. She may constantly cancel plans last minute, never initiates dates, and doesn’t seem to care about improving the problems in the relationship. A user just takes the relationship for granted because she knows you’ll always be there no matter how little she invests.
3. She Comes Around Only When She Needs Something
Does she only hit you up when she needs a favor, needs money, or needs emotional support? Then she disappears again until the next time she needs something from you? This is a classic sign of a user. She doesn’t value you for you, she just values what you can provide for her. Once she gets what she wants, she’s gone again until the next time she needs to take from you.
4. She Doesn’t Respect Your Boundaries
Part of being used is having your boundaries constantly violated. She may show up at your place unannounced, push you to do things you’re uncomfortable with, and ignore it when you tell her she’s crossing the line. A user sees you as just an object to get what she wants rather than a person who deserves respect.
5. She Doesn’t Introduce You to Important People
If she’s using you just for fun or convenience without seeing long-term potential, she’ll keep you away from meeting her family or closest friends. Introducing a partner to loved ones is a big deal that shows you’re taking the relationship seriously. If she keeps that entire side of her life separate, it signals you’re just someone to pass the time with for now.
6. She Doesn’t Make You a Priority
When you’re being used, she’ll constantly put you last on her list of priorities behind work, friends, hobbies or anything else. She doesn’t have any issue blowing you off last minute or bailing on your plans because you’re just an afterthought to her. A user doesn’t care about making you feel important or appreciated.
7. She Doesn’t Reciprocate
A relationship is a two-way street, with both partners putting in effort and consideration. But when she’s using you, it’s completely one-sided where you’re always giving and she’s always taking. She never reciprocates the things you do for her, whether it’s buying gifts, running errands, doing favors, being emotionally supportive, or anything else. It’s a constant imbalance where you’re the one giving 100% to her 0%.
8. She Doesn’t Compromise
In a healthy relationship, both partners are willing to compromise and meet in the middle sometimes. But when she’s using you, it’s her way or the highway. She’ll pout, argue, or punish you until she gets exactly what she wants. She has no interest in finding a compromise because she just expects you to sacrifice your wants and needs for her.
9. She Doesn’t Respect You
At the core of it, a user doesn’t truly respect you as a person. She may cut you down with insults, embarrass you in front of others, or treat you like a doormat she can walk all over. She sees you as just a tool to get what she wants rather than an equal partner who deserves to be treated with kindness and dignity.
10. She Keeps You on the Back Burner
If she’s using you, she’ll keep you in the background as a back-up option while she pursues other people she’s more interested in. You’re just her time-filler until someone better comes along. She may even date or hook up with other people right under your nose because she knows you’ll stick around no matter how little she values you.
If several of these signs ring true, there’s a very good chance this woman is just using you for her own purposes without any care about your feelings or the relationship. Don’t let yourself be someone’s doormat – you deserve better than being used as an option of convenience. Have some self-respect and walk away from this imbalanced, toxic situation. There are plenty of women out there who will appreciate you for who you are.
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